


You Can't Pray the Gay Away

by pineapplebelongsonpizza



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, My First Smut, Religion, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 12:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20528081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineapplebelongsonpizza/pseuds/pineapplebelongsonpizza
Summary: Sylvain tries to pray la Gay away after seeing Felix, but buddy boo we both know that isn't how this works babe





	You Can't Pray the Gay Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is only my second fanfic, so any criticism or comments are very much appreciated!  
It also my first smut written by a #Virgin lmaoo so if there's anything wrong I sincerely apologize. Also I low-key had to go through the smut tags to find out the logistics and i was like uhuh, that sounds right I'll put that in haha  
Hope u enjoy !  
Side note - I was inspired by Caleb Hyles cover of hellfire. Idk dudes just the whole:  
"Then tell me, Maria  
Why I see her dancing there  
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul
> 
> I feel her, I see her  
The sun caught in her raven hair  
Is blazing in me out of all control"  
\- is pretty dope, like c'mon that could suit an angsty haha no homo bro Sylvain

There really was nothing that Sylvain thought he liked more than Saturday nights. Hitting the town, eating hot food and drinking good booze with a harem of girls to listen to him attentively. He was a king, and the small pub was his kingdom, eager to satiate his every pleasure.

But like all great things, the night had come to an end, and Sylvain stumbled back to Garreg Mach cold, drunk, and alone. Acting as stealthily as a drunk teenage boy could, he prowled through the monastery, feeling his way through the dark hallways. 

Despite his best efforts, Sylvain soon started at the booming shout of a guard calling out to him. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, and he sprinted. His eyes frantically searched for a room to hide, laboured breathing too heavy against the otherwise quiet night.

Bingo

Adrenaline pumped through his veins as Sylvain dashed to the large wooden doors that held his escape. Sylvain quickly slipped into the training grounds, the thudding of the door a little too loud for his taste, but still managing to evade the guards' notice.

“...Sylvain? Hmph what a rare sight at the training grounds”

Sylvain looked up from his position on the ground to the sound of a judgemental and all too familiar voice. Felix. Of course, it was Felix. Said man stood before him, sword in one hand and the other on his hip, painting a picture of disinterest before Sylvain.

“Whatever”

Felix turned back to the practice dummies, moving into a fighting stance that looked almost comfortable on the experienced warrior. Sylvain knew there was no way he could get back to his dorm anytime soon without getting caught, so instead, he resigned himself to watching Felix’s training. 

Felix’s movements were rhythmic and precise, each blow of his sword falling with deadly accuracy. The raven-haired boy almost seemed to dance as he struck the straw dummies around him, each flick of his wrist elegantly dangerous. 

In short, Felix was mesmerizing. Sure Sylvain admired Felix’s technique and skill, but he also knew there was something else that drew his attention to the figure before him, both now and countless times before. He had always watched Felix with awe, but also always turned away when he felt overwhelmed, self-conscious of his behaviour. He had repeatedly justified to himself that the only reason he watched Felix so intently was due to his obvious ease and prowess with a sword, yet the sword never even seemed to cross Sylvain’s mind when watching Felix.

Instead of the precise and careful swings of the blade, Sylvain saw the dark ponytail that coiled and brushed against a pale neck. The sharp thrusts and careful cuts escaped Sylvain’s gaze, instead the taut arms that bent and pushed to facilitate these movements were his main focus. Loud sounds of steel slicing straw never caught Sylvains slightest attention, but the hidden pants and grunts made him strain to hear more. 

And in the daytime, Sylvain withdrew and hid those thoughts, distracted himself with harmless chatter and meaningless flirtations. But in this nightscape lit up by just a few lamps, framing the two in a small bubble that no one could enter, Sylvain found himself stuck. Unable to move away. A victim to the hot, familiar curling sensation that slowly built in his stomach as he clenched his fist in his trousers. The mental overstimulation built and built, peaking in a moment that Sylvain would never admit that he played in his head too many times. 

Feliz unbuttoned his shirt, letting the wet white fabric slip from his shoulders, revealing flushed skin, dripping in sweat. His muscles rippled as he stretched out his tired body, reaching up his arms. He arched, stretching back, giving Sylvain a full view of his torso. It looked nothing like a woman’s, the female form being soft and delicate, a stark contrast to Felix’s hard yet slender physique. Sylvain bit his lip, hoping that the shock of pain would distract him from how much he wanted to grab the smaller man and hold him close as he kissed his back, trailing his lips down the pale skin. Felix let out a small moan as he flexed his body, the breathy sound echoing in Sylvain's mind. The sinful noise was accompanied by Felix’s tilted back head, closed eyes, and open mouth. Unbidden, a plethora of images flooded Sylvain’s imagination as he fantasized about all the different ways he could get Felix in a similar position.

But the last straw was when Felix relaxed and opened his eyes. The moment seemed to move in slow motion, his dark hair falling in a soft wave to frame his flushed face as he inadvertently glanced at Sylvain. Dark amber burned into Sylvain, the pupils flicking to give Sylvain a casual once-over that eventually landed in a lock between the two gazes. Suddenly Sylvain couldn’t breathe. The intensity of everything was too much, and the now very much sober Sylvain darted out of the training grounds, mumbling some half-hearted excuse for his escape, self-conscious of the molten gold that was boring into his escaping back.

Reaching his dorm room, he hurriedly slammed the door and sunk against it, too desperate to even reach his bed. His erection strained painfully against his pants. Fumbling, he quickly removed the offensive material, pushing them down to his knees and taking himself into his hands. He leaned his head back against the door, one hand working on his hot erection and the other fisted by his side. Soft pants escaped his mouth, each growing heavier and louder than the last. 

His imagination was particularly vivid, running wild after the late-night encounter. Sylvain could see it clearly, Felix's normally pale skin red and bruised from his lips, those strong shoulders trembling as he braced himself against Sylvain's bed, those normally bright brown eyes almost black from his dilated pupils. “Sylvain… more!” Sylvain could almost hear that normally gruff and cold vice shouting out in pleasure, pleasure that  _ he  _ had given him. 

Sylvain pleasured himself, thinking off how Felix would look sliding down on his cock, his warm walls squeezing the member, the smaller boy flushed, moaning, and eventually cumming in a way that drove Sylvain absolutely mad with desire. Sylvain pumped his stiff cock harder, thumbing the tip and spreading pre-cum along the length, creating a faster,  _ better  _ feeling, although his hand only served a poor substitute for his fantasies. The room filled with the sound of wet skin and loud moans, as Sylvain continued to jerk off, reaching his climax embarrassingly quickly.

. 

“Fuck”

He sighed heavily as his head drooped forward, shame taking over his post-orgasm endorphins. Guilt hung heavy in his throat. He cleaned up his messy had, discarding the dirty cloth with disgust. He had taken his  _ best friend  _ and warped his pure image into some twisted fantasy, a hot body that fulfilled his every sinful desire.

Sylvain lay vulnerable to his desires, acknowledging the filthy cravings he felt for his childhood friend, along with the shame at his perverse thoughts. But as he sat slumped against the door, the cool night air softly sweeping against his still heated skin, he felt his heart squeeze slightly. But Sylvain refused to accept that there could be more than lust behind his needs because that was a much more dangerous emotion than any of his filthy cravings. 

It was easy to evade Felix the next day, the black-haired boy confined to just the training grounds and dining hall. Sylvain tried to act normal, playfully bantering with the professor and his friends, but he couldn’t shake the uneasy energy that ran through his body. Aimlessly, he wandered the monastery, his feet eventually leading him to the cathedral. 

The sound of the choir soothed his ears, the divine and pristine atmosphere inviting him in. Sylvain wasn't one for prayer, or even believing in the Goddess. Everything he had earned, he did so through his hard work, and although he occasionally gave his time to the divine, he overall viewed the Goddess as an inconsequential force.

But today, he felt compelled to sit down on the wooden pews and bring his hands together in prayer, needing someone,  _ anyone _ , to hear his words. And so he prayed. What for? Even he didn’t know. 

Forgiveness?

Acceptance?

Freedom from his selfish wants?

He didn’t know, but he screwed up his eyes and linked his fingers tight enough to turn his knuckles white, and prayed. 

**Author's Note:**

> If u made it this far Im gonna assume you liked the fanfic, so pleaase Kudos and comment what you liked, any ideas for me, etc
> 
> If not then I'd love any helpful criticisms
> 
> If ur bored and wanna chat Sylvix hmu on tumblr   
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cheescake-is-great


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